The Bailiff.

His is a true vocation

to the work of extrication.

With polish and conviction

he accomplishes each eviction.

He is brutal, but he is jolly

and knows not melancholy,

permitting not the sufferings of mankind

to agitate his peace of mind.

Let grown men curse and infants bawl,

he will shift them one and all.

Weeping mothers and their sad appeals

will never turn him off his meals.

Though, of course, not an intellectual,

his guile is quite effectual,

and he has all the usual features

common to well fed contented creatures.

To get to work he never fails,

from cramp or fever never ails;

for his body grants no place of rest

to vermin, parasite or pest,

while his bowels, in perfect tune,

evacuates he every day by noon.

A well built woman is his wife

who just adores her family life.

One son and two fine girls they have,

the boy so very like his dad.

And three nights out of every four,

before he settles down to snore,

of this wife he takes possession,

showing just the right degree of passion.

Cruelty and smugness are so well wed

in that one spruce and jaunty head.

He is a ruthless crafty dog. Too true!

But he is happy in his job. Are you?